That Should Count for Something

by Apology Fest

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03:08
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06:02

credits

released June 13, 2014

Engineered and drummed by Kevin Winrich
Otherwise produced and performed by Ben VanderBeek
Mastered by Andrew Garver

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Apology Fest Long Beach, California

Apology fest is the solo project of multi-instrumentalist Ben VanderBeek.

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Track Name: I Prefer The Imitation
Show me a drawing or a rough approximation
Make me a sketch, because I prefer the imitation
Splenda in my coffee gives my tongue that sweet sensation
Aspartame and saccharine without a hesitation

You say idolatry, I say in moderation
For my overworking conscience it’s a well-deserved vacation
I hear the original is not to be forsaken
I’ll settle for the one that lends itself to duplication

Turn off the lights, cause this taste test is blind
If you don’t look then I’m sure you won’t mind
The glass on the left may be poisoned, it’s true
But just admit it tastes better to you

Knock-off, fraud, and forgery, the common accusations
I take it all in stride because I prefer the imitation
Come get the benefit without the complication
Indulge yourself with fakes, give in to all of your temptations
Track Name: Unbearable Consequences
“Such integrity,” they all say
“And character to emulate
His conscientiousness such an inspiration”

So why would anyone suspect?
He just can’t bring himself to risk

Unbearable consequences

Always been a pragmatist in his heart
Honing amorality into an art
His sacrificial acts hide self preservation

He says, “Come with me to the comfort zone
Jump right in, the water’s lukewarm
We’ll maximize our pleasure
While we minimize our pain.”

He tells you feeling guilty is an inefficient use of time
While his risk-averse behavior keeps him walking the straight line
The squalor of his private thoughts would earn him excommunication

But how could anyone have guessed?
He just can’t bring himself to risk

Unbearable consequences
Track Name: When The Moment Is Right
I don’t know if I can wait that long
I don’t know if I can wait that long

Unified, our family lies in expectation
Unified, our family lies in expectation

Eager to pour through the ducts
Eager to pour through the ducts

In mournful celebration
When the moment is right

Biding time, I might be dry before the day arrives
Biding time, I might be dry before the day arrives

But I have no choice in the matter
I have no choice in the matter

Can’t make someone sense something
Or realize that they’re already sensing it

It’s agony to see the rage and the addiction
That masks the quiet sorrow, that’s aching to be freed

I am the wordless statement
Of this subdued sensation
Ignored and unspoken

I am the wordless statement
Of this subdued sensation
Ignored and unspoken

I am the wordless statement
Of this subdued sensation
Ignored and unspoken

I am the wordless statement
Of this subdued sensation
Ignored and unspoken

Till the moment is right
Track Name: Idle Hands
Feeling pretty good, and it’s disturbing
I’ll keep knocking on wood
And hope the devils haven’t heard me
Sitting around and waiting for the opportunity
To present itself is nothing new to me

Idle hands with twiddling thumbs
Papers piling toward the ceiling
Staring down and playing dumb
Is more and more appealing

Oh, is it getting dark? I hadn't noticed
With contrast not so stark how do I focus?
Keep the curtains drawn, don’t tell me when it’s dusk or dawn.
Clocks are taunting menaces, since the fall in Genesis

Feeling pretty good, and it’s disturbing
I’ll keep knocking on wood
And hope the devils haven’t heard me
Sitting around and waiting for the opportunity
To present itself is nothing new to me

Idle hands with twiddling thumbs
Papers piling toward the ceiling
Staring down and playing dumb
Is more and more appealing
Track Name: I've Lost Sensation
I've lost sensation in my toes
I always thought that I could count on those
Now I can barely get a wiggle
I've lost sensation in my toes

I've lost sensation in my feet
Can’t get up to try to eat
I roll out of the bed and crawl across the floor
I've lost sensation in my feet

I've lost sensation in my legs
Now I find that I have got the shakes
I took for granted my mobility
I've lost sensation in my legs

I've lost sensation in my heart
Please go get the paddles, make it start
The doctor calls out “Clear” and sends the charge through me
I've lost sensation in my heart
Track Name: Mean Bone
Not a mean bone in that body
If possible, please, prove it with an X-ray

Never meant harm to anybody
In theory, at least, that should count for something

Inspect these injuries.
Tell me, were these inflicted by a mean bone?

A bone’s a bone when it’s an elbow to the face
A bone’s a bone when it knocks you out of place
A bone’s a bone in a soul-crushing embrace
A bone’s a bone when you thought that you were safe

Refresh my memory.
Just where in one’s anatomy is the mean bone?

The blood’s been spilled. Tell me who will clean that floor?
Rehashing motives doesn’t serve us anymore
A threat’s a threat, even spoken out of fear
A vow’s a vow, growing weaker every year
A fist’s a fist when it lands the final blow
A death’s a death, though you claim you didn’t know